Heart of Dogness

Fash

My kid sister (she's now a full professor at a real university; who knew?) has a little doggy that's part Border Collie and part helicopter. Dog's name is Fash. It's pronounced Fosh, and the name is an Irish word for trouble. Since the sister and the dog live in Ireland, this makes a certain amount of sense.

Fash plays fetch with more energy than I've ever seen in a dog. When I met her nine years ago, you could throw a stick up a 60-degree slope and Fash would run up and get it, over and over again, until my sister would intervene and tell me to cut that crap out.

Dahlin' Daughta was just over there for a visit, and she reports that at the age of 14, when most dogs are retired and have taken up needlepoint, Fash still routinely digs out under the back fence and roams the town, and she'll still play fetch till your arm falls off.

Sometimes I want to grow up to be Fash, so I'll have that kind of energy at that age. Sometimes I think I DID grow up to be Fash, since I always seem to be fetching some damn thing for somebody.

Today's Lesson: Don't Make Promises You Can't Keep

My sincerest apologies to all my reader for announcing a publishing schedule I couldn't meet. Eight dogs in eight days has become five dogs in nine days, and the Soft Coated Wheaten Terrier, the Irish Terrier and the Irish Water Spaniel, amusing as they are, will just have to wait.

Turns out there are only so many snide remarks you can make about the breeds of one locale before you start getting stale and repeating yourself. Same goes for the pictures, although any resemblance between the Irish Setter and Irish Red and White Setter images is purely coincidental.

I'll be going back to a more leisurely schedule now, and providing, I hope, a better product.

Dogs of Ireland: Irish Red and White Setter

The Irish Red and White Setter looks like an Irish Setter that's had half a gallon of bleach spilled on it. The Red and White is evidently the older breed, derived from "Spaniels" brought to Ireland by returning Crusaders (everything on four legs that wasn't manifestly a horse was called a "Spaniel". Irish Wolfhounds were considered horses until well into the 20th century, when they began to be thought of as buildings.)

The Irish Red and White Setter, unlike the Irish Setter, is still primarily a hunting dog, as it prefers to dress in tweed and can seldom be trained to use the right fork. The breed's table manners are atrocious and its discourse tends to the ribald, making it an unsuitable companion for town. In the country, however, the Irish Red and White Setter can be a great and faithful friend if you can keep it out of the claret.

Sources: Wikipedia, Irish Red and White Setter Association

Dogs of Ireland: Kerry Blue Terrier

The Kerry Blue Terrier, like most terriers, was originally bred to hunt vermin, including rats, rabbits, fox, badger and the sort of lowlifes that would never stand a round at the pub. The breed gradually became an all-purpose working dog, used for herding sheep and cattle, as guard dogs and stocking shelves at big-box stores. The Kerry Blue seldom works in food service, being much too proud to wear a hairnet over its magnificent beard.

There are several legends about the origin of the breed: that it originated from a cross between a Portuguese Water Dog that swam ashore from a shipwreck and was mated to all the female terriers in Kerry before expiring with a deep sigh and a vast grin; that the dog was developed for poaching back when only nobles could hunt with Irish Wolfhounds (poached is still the only way a Kerry will eat an egg); and that Saint Patrick created the breed from the last snake in Ireland after being thrown from the Irish Wolfhound he was riding.

Kerry Blue Terrier pups are black at birth, and gradually lighten to gray. They seldom actually become blue, except some elderly females who use a blue rinse.

Sources: Wikipedia, United States Kerry Blue Terrier Club

Dogs of Ireland: Glen of Imaal Terrier

Of the eight Irish breeds, four are terriers, which suggests that either Ireland is overrun with vermin, or that the Irish are obsessed with ridding their country of small four-legged critters and repopulating it with small four-legged critters that bark.

The Glen of Imall Terrier originated in the Glen of Imaal in County Wicklow. This may be why it's called the Glen of Imaal Terrier, but this hasn't been verified. In addition to the terrier's traditional vermin quarry, this breed also hunted foxes and badgers. A description at glens.org states:

The European badger weighs in at 40 lbs and the Glen was tough and strong enough to go to ground and dispatch the vermin soundlessly.

The article doesn't indicate if this was done with knife or garrote.

The Glen was also used as a Turnspit Dog. That is, it would walk on a wheel that would turn a rotisserie on which dinner was cooking. This is why the overwhelming majority of Glen of Imaal Terriers today are employed as barbecue chefs.

Sources: Wikipedia, American Kennel Club, Glen of Imaal Terrier Club of America

Dogs of Ireland: Irish Setter

The Irish Setter is a gorgeous red-haired dog that, like most gorgeous redheads, knows how good-looking it is, and acts accordingly. The Irish Setter was developed in Ireland in the 1700s as a gun dog, although few carry guns today and most are now poor shots. There's a related breed called the Red Setter that can still handle firearms, but evidently Irish Setter fanciers and Red Setter fanciers won't speak to, or of, each other. Both breeds are descended from the Irish Red and White Setter, which is predominantly white with red spots. The newer breeds were left out in the rain and have rusted completely.

The Irish Setter is playful, loves to run, and the breed standard says it should have a "rollicking" temperament. In practice, this means the dog is likely to hide your socks and blame it on the cat, or hide the cat and blame it on your socks. Members of the breed have historically feigned a level of stupidity not usually seen in animate objects, but researchers have found that this is in fact a cover for a quite sophisticated rawhide-chewy-laundering scheme. Do not leave your wallet within reach of this dog.

Sources: Wikipedia, American Kennel Club, Irish Setter Club of America

Rescue: Irish Setter Club of America

Dogs of Ireland: Irish Wolfhound

The Irish Wolfhound is the tallest dog in the world, although individual Great Danes have occasionally surpassed it. As the name suggests, the breed was originally intended to hunt wolves, and they were very successful. There are very few wolves in Ireland today, and those that remain typically disguise themselves as snakes. Irish Wolfhounds also hunted elk, of which the few that remain disguise themselves as very big snakes.

Irish Wolfhounds were also used in warfare, being trained to knock knights off their horses and lick them until their armor rusted through, thereby making the knights easier for infantry to kill.

The breed is no longer used for hunting or warfare, since there's nothing left for it to hunt and the dog resents being used to transport either personnel or munitions. Modern Wolfhounds are generally employed as bridges or construction scaffolding.

Sources: Wikipedia, American Kennel Club

Rescue: Irish Wolfhound Club of America

St. Patrick's Day Special: Dogs of Ireland

Between now and St. Patrick's Day, March 17, we'll  be posting a different Irish breed every day, featuring the usual distortions of fact, insulting stereotypes, and ill-considered canine portraits we generally offer.

Monday, March 10: Irish Wolfhound
Tuesday, March 11: Irish Setter
Wednesday, March 12: Glen of Imaal Terrier
Thursday, March 13: Kerry Blue Terrier
Tuesday, March 18: Irish Red and White Setter

Hope you all enjoy it!